Deity Replacement Therapy

I don't remember where I first encountered the idea of replacing God and Jesus in your mind with other names whenever you encounter them spoken or written by believers in order to remove any associated emotional baggage and to remind yourself how absurd religion sounds from the outside, but I would like to present my own list of common expressions having done exactly that. I have selected Zeus and Apollo as the father and son deities to replace God and Jesus, not because their mythology most closely matches Christian mythology – Osiris and Horus are probably the best fit – but because Zeus is the probably the best known pagan god and the name Apollo sounds better to my ears and can't be confused with the homophonic name Horace.

God » Zeus

  • Zeus bless you.
  • Zeus bless America.
  • Zeus is love.
  • Zeus works in mysterious ways.
  • Zeus doesn't believe in atheists.
  • With Zeus, all things are possible.
  • In Zeus we trust.
Jesus » Apollo
  • Apollo loves you.
  • Apollo saves.
  • Apollo is lord.
  • Apollo is the answer.
  • Real men love Apollo.
  • You've got a friend in Apollo.
  • No Apollo, no peace. Know Apollo, know peace.
  • What would Apollo do?
I find it remarkable that a similar yet distinct effect results if you simply use the somewhat more proper but less familiar names Yahweh and Yeshua. The former brings a very abstract concept back to its origins as a historically provincial deity and the latter reminds you that Jesus was not the sanitized, westernized version many people imagine as their best friend.

If you think of any common expressions containing references to either God or Jesus, please leave me a comment and I'll consider adding them to the list. Thank you!



vjack said...

I thought Zeus was the Greek name and Apollo the Roman name for the same god.

Zatarra said...

No, Jupiter is the Roman counterpart of the Greek Zeus.